Skeletons in the Closet
by Katie1995
Summary: One-shot! Esme can't face telling Carlisle about her terrible past. Can Edward convince her otherwise? A sweet Mother/Son story. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers)**

**Skeletons in the closet**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

Silently watching the meteor shower light the sky in trails of sparkles, I didn't take too much notice to Edward's sudden appearance. I knew he was there, I could feel him stood behind me. I just couldn't acknowledge him.

"Esme," he sighed in somewhat frustration.

"I've told you my reasons, Edward," I shot back, my voice fierce with determination.

"So, you're just going to let that one man torture you for eternity?"

"You have no idea," I warned, whipping my head round so I could look at him. "No idea whatsoever."

"But I do."

Scoffing, I turned my attention to the sky again. "Second hand," I replied, unfeeling.

"And it hurts me to see you like this."

"You hardly know me," I shot back, my voice quavering. "Sympathy, Edward, is one thing I do not need from anyone. Not you, or Carlisle, not anyone!"

Chair legs scraped across the wooden paned floor as he came to sit next to me by my bedroom window. I could feel his face concentrating on my own.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? I've coped like this for many, many years."

"And now you can just let it go. You can forget the hardships."

"But I can't can I?" I retorted, shooting a sharp look towards him. "My perfect memory remembers the windows of memories. Patchwork really, I suppose, but still, it's there. And I have proof. Look at me Edward," I sighed. "No-one can come close to me, let alone hold me. My body – muscle memory to be precise, doesn't allow me too. And I remember."

A long pause stood between us before he finally spoke again.

"I never said it would be easy, Esme."

"My life has never been "easy.""

Edward's face held a solemn expression and a bittersweet smile touched my lips.

"It's not you," I finally stated, staring at nothing in particular. "I just..."

He took my hand and I flinched despite my mind telling me that he wouldn't harm me."I understand."

"See?" My voice seemed too high and shame flushed through my veins. "This is why he can't know." I closed my eyes and breathed in as deeply as I could. "Please, understand me."

I sounded desperate in the circumstances I was in.

"I do," Edward replied, gently. "Really, Esme, I do. But you can't carry this on your own forever."

"I've done it before." And although everything he said was countered, I was beginning to run out of replies.

"Esme."

I found his eyes with my own and he smiled lightly."

"I don't know what to do anymore!" I cried as he pulled me into him, his arms holding me in a tight embrace. "What happens if I tell him and he rejects me? What happens if doesn't accept me? What happens if I tell him my true feelings and he doesn't feel the same way?"

Thoughts buzzed around my over cramped mind, my emotions – not yet mastered, flared above my control and Edward just rocked me in his arms.

"It's okay, Esme, I promise you, everything's okay."

I snuggled closer, wanting the contact I so very rarely had received in my human life.

"Carlisle listens," Edward whispered into my ear, tucking a tendril of hair behind it as he did. "Believe me; I have been in your place before. Guilt, secrets, Esme, I know what you're going through."

I sighed, pushing myself away slightly to let our eyes find each other once more. "I'm so scared, Edward. This feeling, I...I've never felt it before. I'm just so confused," I confessed, wringing my hands together.

"Love," he breathed, "is a feeling that one cannot describe accurately. It's just tenderly talking you into its arms and holding you there. A decision from you is yet to be made."

Smiling for the first time in two days my mind seemed to rest a little.

"You know," Edward continued, a crooked smile on his lips, "when you first woke to this life I thought you would run." I sucked in a sharp breath, guilt seeping through me. "But you didn't. And it was all because of your feelings for Carlisle. Even during your change just eight days ago now, you still held on hope that the voice you could hear was his, that the body cradling your broken form was his. And it was."

"Edward I-

But he placed his index finger over my lips and I was quiet again.

"When you saw him your thoughts ran into a frenzy, and all I knew was that you two were made for each other."

"But Carlisle," I began.

"Carlisle," Edward retorted, "was the same with you, Esme. When he carried your dying body into our small house, his mind was concentrated on saving the girl he had fallen so guiltily in love with a ten years ago. His mind that is so usually controlled, so precise, was in a frenzy over what he had done. You seemed so hurt, so pure that he wondered if saving you like this was the way things should've gone."

"No," I replied, quickly.

"He's still in denial even now. I know you're happy – well, to be with him like this at least, but knowing that you've lost so much that is a part of you made him doubt his decision entirely."

"But I... love... him."

Edward's smile widened and he chuckled quietly. "I know you do, Esme. You can't deny yourself any longer."

"But all the skeletons in the closet," I replied, not missing a beat, "some of them are just too horrible to tell. Most people I know would hate them."

"Carlisle isn't most people."

I let myself lean back into the chair I previously sat on, pondering my options.

"It hurts to carry secrets around with you, doesn't it?" Edward questioned and I nodded.

"He'll understand?" I asked, worriedly.

"He understands me, doesn't he?" Edward joked, winking. "And, Esme," he carried on, "you have eternity to tell him if you wish."

Soft footsteps crunched the stones beneath them as Carlisle walked up the driveway and to the front door.

"I think I'll tell him now."

Edward nodded, squeezing my hand before leaving the room as quietly as he came. And although I wasn't prepared, I removed all worries from my mind.

Maybe I could do this after all, and maybe this time, someone would listen.

**A/N – This came to me suddenly and I had to write it. I just have to many Esme/Edward/Mother/Son moments floating around inside my cramped mind.**

**I really wanted it to be a cross between sweet and bitter, but I don't know...what do you think? Did it work like that?**

**Please tell me your thoughts, they are much appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


	2. There's Something I Need to Tell You

**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way. All credit goes to Stephanie Meyers)**

**There's Something I Need to Tell You**

**Esme's P.O.V.**

I paced back and forth in distress. My hair was pulled back into a messy but presentable bun and my dress was plain and tightly clad to my body. Edward appeared in front of me, catching me in his arms.

"Esme," he said, lowly, his eyes soft. "Calm down, please."

"Calm down?" I hissed, my voice as low as his. "I can't, Edward."

"You can do this."

I heavily doubted his words.

"Edward, I didn't even tell you. You had to patch my thoughts up to understand what happened. Even now, it's still hard to grasp all that he did to me." I gulped, shaking my head.

"Esme, you need this, both to finally let go, and also carry on without _him _in your life. Please, Esme, do this for _you._"

He cupped my face with one hand and smiled softly at me. Exhaling deeply I nodded, returning a small smile.

"Thank you," I whispered, "for everything."

"You know where to find me." And he was gone again, my hand holding nothing but thin air.

Carlisle's shoes were clicking on his study's wooden paned floor as he moved from his desk to the bookshelves placed neatly around the large room. My head was spinning and it almost felt as though I would pass out from the intensity of it all.

Biding my time and slowly building courage I knew would so surely dissolve; I held my unneeded breath and knocked three times on his study door. I heard his pacing stop as he breathed out, a hand raking through his golden tendrils.

"Come in." His voice was strong and authority was clear as his timbre voice rang out.

Time running out, I let the door swing easily open. I stepped in and immediately his face softened, laughter lines creasing his eyes as he smiled brightly at me.

"Esme," he greeted, placing the book he held in his hands on the table in front of him. "What brings you here?"

Looking back over my shoulder, Edward smiled encouragingly back at me. My courage now the best it could be pushed me purposely on.

"Actually," I replied, "there's something I need to tell you."

Offering the seat opposite his, I politely took it, my face now absent of the gentle smile I had returned to Carlisle. The doctor walked over to the door I had forgotten to shut and closed it in my place.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Esme, it's fine, really."

I watched as he took his chair and his place opposite me, the smile still on his face. That smile that always made me think that he was generally happy to see me, as if when he saw me, I was the most important person in the world. Yes, his lips still held _that _smile.

"Carlisle," I began, stalling suddenly before breathing out, my hands gripping the armrests slightly. "I... I haven't been completely honest with you."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I watched his face fall and a frown appear. "Esme, I don't understand."

"I... I never intended to tell you. It was something only I would know, but I can't anymore. I know that now. It just... it's weighing down on me, and I feel as if I can't breathe properly. I am so, so sorry."

"Sorry for what, Esme."

"Lying to you," I finished, sharply.

He sucked in a short breath, his hand resting on the ochre table that we sat at.

"You want to leave, don't you?" He finally asked, his voice breaking suddenly.

My eyes went wide and I shook my head frantically. "No, never, Carlisle; this isn't about...us. This is about me."

"Esme, I don't understand. About you? But how?"

"Carlisle, there are things I have kept from you. And now I remember them, it scares me to even rethink them. I can't have you hate me as much as he did."

Carlisle's ever darkening eyes searched my face before they found my red eyes, so different from his own. "You're scaring me, Esme."

"When you found me, Carlisle, it wasn't just my baby that had led me to that cliff. There was much, much more, and I've refused to acknowledge it, too frightened to even recall my past, even to myself."

"Esme, please-

"There was a man," I finally stated, the air around me standing still as I confessed.

"I knew it," Carlisle whispered to himself, his hand running through his hair as he leaned back into his chair. "I shouldn't have changed you."

"Carlisle, it's not like that, please."

"You had a husband, Esme, and I deliberately took you away from him."

"Gladly," I cut in, my chest becoming tighter as each second passed.

Sighing, I struggled to find the words.

"He was my husband, yes. But love was a rare occurrence in our relationship."

"Esme?" Carlisle's voice sounded dangerous and I shrank back a little, diverting my attention to my hands as I twisted them together.

"You wonder why I finch, shrink back at every sudden movement," I stated, cutting him of before he could respond. "Don't deny it," I continued, "I can see the questions in your eyes."

"Esme, if you're trying to tell me what I think you are, then I promise you now, I'll go and find that monster and I will hunt him down-

"No," I quipped, my hand suddenly over his. "No," I repeated, his hand shaking under my own. "I need you to listen to me first."

Sudden anger filled my new dead heart and hatred ran through my veins. I had suppressed those feelings for a year, and now, just mentioning him indirectly resurfaced the memories again. I didn't want to kill him, did I? Was I now so sadistic that I wanted to use my new found strength to give him a taste of his own medicine?

No.

I wasn't.

"Carlisle," I cautiously started again. "Look at me, please."

His fingers curled into a fist and he made himself look me in the eye. The rejection was devastating.

"Please." My voice seemed distance, as if it didn't belong to me anymore, "listen?"

Carlisle's nostrils flared as he breathed out angrily. "Go on."

Quickly moving away, I paced back and forth, fitting incoherent words into a coherent sentence, stopping at the door before turning my back on him and staring at the floor.

"This man I married, his name..." I paused, forcing his name out. "His name was, Charles."

Another fresh batch of memories flooded my mind and I fell back against the wall, gripping too tightly into the door frame behind me. Blinking ferociously, I made myself snap back into the present.

"I didn't want to be married," I quickly added, as if it could justify my past. "But it was the "right thing to do,"" I quoted.

"It's not if the man you marry isn't someone you love."

"Well, that someone left a good six years before."

Realising I had said it out loud, I immediately placed a hand over my mouth. From the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle stand and walk towards me.

"Me?" He asked; his eyes now soft once more.

"You."

I smiled weakly back as he brushed a ringlet from my face and behind my ears, my eyes closing tightly as if prepared for an oncoming attack, but nothing came...like usual.

"Can I sit down?" My thoughts were slowly turning into a whirlwind and dizziness was taking hold making my knees slowly become weak.

Seeing my distress, Carlisle pulled a chair out from the small coffee table beside him. I took it, my effort not to crush the wood into a fine dust showing, as I slowly pulled it towards me.

"Thank you," I whispered, letting my body fall down and my knees give way.

Grabbing the chair that was left, he sat before me, his eyes on mine.

"Carlisle, when you left things changed. I was made to marry before I was "too old" to find a suitor. At only twenty-two, I agreed to marry, Charles Evenson." Breathing in unneeded air, I forced myself to carry on, this time not looking him in the eye. "A man to whom I believed had values. How wrong I was."

I heard a soft growl emit from Carlisle's chest and my eyes sparked in encouragement. He didn't hate me...yet.

"As time went on, things gradually got worse. Everything I did was wrong; dinner was wrong, the way I made love was wrong, the things I wore were wrong. Everything was wrong." My eyes glassed over and my throat constricted. If it were the only thing I could remember, it would be him telling me how worthless and useless I was.

"Esme." And I thought he would be angry with me, but no. Carlisle's voice seemed almost broken. "I never knew."

"I never intended for you to find out."

"And Edward?"

Sucking in a sharp breath, I began slowly. "Edward found out on his own accord. My thoughts were – still are – hazy, and the things I remembered were unintentional. But always, since waking up in this life, I've had a fear of loud noises and...closeness. I can't describe it. Every day, something odd reminds me of what I was afraid of and I'm scared, Carlisle."

Gently, he placed a hand over mine, squeezing it tightly.

"How about you tell me what you remember?" He asked, unfazed. "We can work through it together, yes?"

Nodding, a small smile on my face, I felt my bravery return.

"Carlisle, there is more."

His eyes closed and I felt the tension he'd recently released, return.

"How bad?"

"I still don't know. All I can remember is the physical aspect; punches, slaps and kicks, our intimate physical relationship painful and shaming. I was punished for the things he thought weren't right, and to him, it was everything. God, the only times I was truly happy was when he was fighting in The Great War, and when I was living and breathing here in Ashland."

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Surely you knew I was working at the hospital."

"I didn't though," I defended. "I was working as a teacher on the outskirts of, Wisconsin. I didn't need to go into the centre or town. But then again, I guess that's what led to my downfall."

"Esme, a downfall is something you've never faced."

Laughing wryly, I brush off his comment. "I thought I could finally be at peace here, Carlisle, that my baby would have a peaceful and comfortable home, but no. Instead, after four years of living in hell, devastation followed me."

Clenching his hand, I turned my back on him, finally letting our hands part. Carlisle, a very patient man, placed a hand on my shoulder instead, and my composure broke. I began to shake with silent but tearless sobs, and all I wanted was to be alone; alone so that I couldn't embarrass myself; alone, so that the waves of total shame rolling through my body could finish without his help.

"I don't need your...sympathy," I breathed between spasms of internal pain.

"But you do." And unlike so many others, his voice was relaxed and gentle. No anger or resentment, and the confusion, now ten times more magnified, hurt my brain.

"My baby boy died!" I finally screeched in a half strangled cry and sob. "And to be honest with you, Carlisle, I don't think I'll ever be able to get over it."

I was now hunched over, folding myself desperately in half to keep myself together. Carlisle's hand travelled down my back, resting on the small of my back. "Esme, look at me."

I shook my head, and he sighed in desperation. "A life lived in humiliation is a one life too many. A life followed by pain and resentment..."

"Resentment?" He asked. His voice hurt ever so slightly, that I dare not look him in the eye. "You think _I _resent _you_?"

"Yes."

I a flash, he was stood by the French doors that led out from his study to the back lawn. "I'm not angry with you," Carlisle said, lowly. "Never would I be angry with you."

"See," I retorted, following his pacing figure with my eyes. "First, I marry a man who abuses me; then God punishes me even more. My newborn baby taken away from me! No-one knew how much effort I out into getting away from that man after he returned from war. And still, my life turned into a down way spiral. Tell me what to do!"

Silence followed and laboured breathing was shared between the two of us.

"You jumped off the cliff, didn't you?"

"Yes."

Again, his eyes were soft a brimmed with understanding. "You were so young; you could've worked through it."

Laughing heartlessly, I replied, "The scars run far, far, deeper than that, Carlisle. I jumped because I had no-one and nothing left. My parents, a proud and high prospering couple, disowned me as soon as my problems with married life were unleashed onto them. "Be a good wife," mother told me. "It'll get better with time." And she was wrong!"

"Beaten and damaged, I ran for my baby's small life, and God cruelly took him away from me, so Carlisle, I jumped because I wasn't going back into a worthless life. I was better dead than alive, so what was the point in trying? I took my chance."

Strong arms were around me so quickly that I didn't have a chance to register it was Carlisle. Only when he straightened me back up again, did I realise my knees were giving way.

"Don't let me go," I whimpered, holding him tightly in fear I would fall if he let go.

"Never," he whispered into my ear.

The weight seemed to drop off my shoulders as he held me, whispering comforts in my ear.

"Thank you."

Holding me tighter, I knew my answer. Carlisle forgave me.

**A/N – So here's the second and last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**If you did enjoy, please review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


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